Black Hole

A whole month passes by since I last visited here. I'm on a runaway train with faulty brakes. Feels that way anyhow. Behind on my papers, feeling an existential crisis just beneath my skin. Had to tell my fabulous therapist Judith that I can only afford to see her five more times, just enough to meet my requirements for school. I'd not mind seeing her more, she is a nice anchor, and just perfect in her support of me and also in prodding me where I need to be prodded. I'll miss her.

My nose inhales the fragrance that comes with the changing season, and my DNA that knows all things ancient nods to this new cycle.

I don't mean to get maudlin or mystical, but there is *something* in the air, a foretelling. I'm feeling quite sad, on just about every front, but I don't know how to do anything else but keep on a good face. Judith has been trying to get me to be sad when I'm sad, but I don't see the point since right now I feel as though I'm in a really deep hole, with little chance of seeing light for a long time to come.

School keeps me distracted and grounded, though I am not excited about some of the paper writing that I have to do. Just pass the papier mache please.