Secret, entry 2: why the chicken cross the road

(as told to Tina by Secret Agent Dog)

Woof! The chicken crossed the road so I wouldn't eat it. Its lazy human owner left the gate open, because I know sure as I'm a dog that chickens aren't smart enough to open gates on their own. So there I was pulling and stuff and the dark furred girl had a hold on my lead (she's a strong bitch!). I think she thought I was smelling a cat, and all I knew was that something was catchable. Then, on our left, from OUT OF NOWHERE(!!!) came this monster chicken! I tried to save the girl from this monster spewing chicken shit from its butt (they are very dirty birds), but she wasn't convinced and we moved on.

Not to be dissapointed at failing to catch my own breakfast, I would have caught and skinned a little calico cat if the biped bitch hadn't made me sit down. The cat apparently had no idea of my superiority over her (a good enough reason to kill her) and she mewed and came right over to us! She was in lunging distance but I was told to sit, and I sat, my jowels sweating in anticipation.

Darn girl, she held me tight, making me sit there, humiliated in front of this little cat and god and everybody!

We had a really long walk today and I was pooped. I forgot to mention the other day that to show thanks to the fathers of the town, I left a present on their lawn. The girl picked it up.

She ruins everything! I can't have any fun!

Woof