Ambushed

I got ambushed this afternoon, by a renegade manager, mine. The short of it is that I do not make enough urn
sales, and my total dollar amount per death doesn't meet the company's preferred minimum. Instead of my
manager casually chatting with me in her office, saying something like, "Cassie, I am submitting requests
for raises, and I can justify it if our sales make a certain number, is there any way that I can help you increase your transaction sales....,"instead, a group "budget" meeting was called and it was highlighted that *I* do
not sell many urns, and hardly any above the minimum and "we" would like our cemetery pre-need sales person
sit in with you during your appointments to watch how
you approach families and offer urn choices.

To my awesome credit, I did not retaliate, I was not defensive. It was very clear though that I was the
target, and my manager was geared up in her surprise attack, feeling righteous all the while.

Actually I almost cried, but I wasn't going to let them break my spirit. It was a nasty thing to be on the end of, and I feel my beginning of my end here. I really wasn't interested yet in leaving, but maybe I am/was. I simply cannot attempt to sell more when
people clearly do not want to buy something. I can't. I won't. Am I simply not playing the game right? Am I
being too sensitive? I just don't think so.

Am I disappointed? I don't know. Maybe I knew it would come to this at some point. It wasn't advertised that
way. Basically it seemed that if I wanted to make more money I could sell urns and caskets and jewelry, and
if I didn't then I lost out. Yeah, the company makes quite a bit from the mark up, so they are investd in my sales...if they are so much, then why don't they start out in the hiring by saying what they expect, and then give people the tools (such as language and
technique - that works -) to do so.

So I am a bit bummed out, and frankly, wanting to have a big beer. And a joint. Ah well. I *am* going to be looking at other areas of employment, I don't mind working but I don't like to compromise my standards, or integrity
which in this case I do not think are extreme, and I don't like being attacked by a greedy manager who
doesn't know how to communicate.

I can't tell you, or anyone how absolutely mortifiying today's meeting was for me. My coworker (who sells a lot of urns) made a good point: if she (or I) were interested in being commission sales people, we would be working in the pre-need department, as that is their sole income.

Esteem boosting and affirmation are very nice things to get right now.