dicking around

I both dislike and like the phrase 'dicking around.' it just really fits.

I'm dicking around, way too much. It has to stop. I don't mean little dicking around, although I am doing that. I mean big dicking around. I must stop it.

Stop. stop. stop. what are you doing? what. look. spinning spinning making energies swirl all around a fancy distraction that does little except make illusory smokey-screens that you can see through when you are honest with yourself. stop it.

is this a pep talk. yes. what's this bullshit about buying a house. go somewhere cheap, do what you need to do and stop dicking around.

what is it that you love. do you remember? is everything you love just what you think it is? are those all your stars out? are those fake stars? don't you think someone's going to notice. aren't you gonna notice. storyteller. go ahead just try to.

value fulfillment. what the hell is yours. what are your abilities, the ones you use, the ones you don't. are you using any of them

too smart for your own good. too easy to get by. too easy too easy too easy. when you're doing better than most there's only yourself to challenge you. sneaky sneaky. but you know. stop dicking around. what are you waiting for. leap run jump fall dive do something something.