I dream of Rita

I dream of Rita

This is the second dream that Rita Mae Brown has made an appearance in.

This time we were hanging out and chatting on a grassy hillside I think. There was definitely an undercurrent of mutual attraction, yet she didn't seem to be into making the first move, so I suggested the option of a relationship or tryst or something, nothing that required any real committment, it could but mostly it just seemed a natural progression of our conversation.

Proabably like any 50ish woman invited to romp by a woman 20 years her junior, she had her reservations, yet she was still game. Mostly though we talked. At somepoint she was doing some kind of reflexology on me and finding where I was healthy and where I might have imbalance. She was impressed about the health of some particular internal organ but then there was one that was in need of some TLC, I think my kidney (but then I already have that in my mind so i can't be sure if that's what it was in the dream).

That was the dream, nothing big, just another Rita dream.

That dream happened Saturday morning. At first I thought not much of it. Then later that day, night actually, a possible connection was made.

I was feeling kind of lonely in the city and stuff like that, seeking out company in cafes, riding my bike past the Lexington club several times in case there was someone interesting there. Nope. I wanted to stay out of the house because Heidi was watching movies with a friend until late. I found myself heading towards 16th street as that's where the action is, cafes and bars. I went to see what was playing at the Roxie. Some movie, I didn't know what it was about, just skimmed the ad enough to know that it didn't have sub-titles and it wasn't violent. I locked my bike and went to buy a ticket. Guess who was the woman selling tickets? Yes, Rebecca. She looked as attractive and unavailable as she ever has, and while I pangs neither of yearning or embarrassment about her, it was interesting that I would have to run into her, on this night when I was feeling in a mood to meet a woman; interesting, interested in me, beautiful, you know, like that.

The film: Things you can tell just by looking at her

Excellent, top 10 movie for me.

And it was surreal and sad as an experience that night. It reflected the stuckness and longing I was feeling. Calista Flockhart plays a psychic lesbian (and a really cute one, and she even kisses and wrestles with another beautiful woman). Holly Hunter, Glenn Close, Kathy Baker and a couple of other women stars were in it. It was a very real film, well written, well directed, well played.

I cried a little once in it. A poignant line, the line the film was written around:

"...yet who's to say what was in her head. She was living her life as most people do, behind closed doors."

Fuck.

It was intense and I might try to see it again. I recommend seeing it in the theater. It is on video but it just isn't the same and it deserves the big screen viewing. I saw enough of myself reflected in that film that I was touched and feeling a need to get out more.

Almost all of the characters, maybe all, had some kind of situation that they were trapped in, usually a self-induced obligation, trapped out of integrity or false integrity...I may not be right, but I thought it was interesting how no one was "wrong" but most seemed to be stuck by habitual cultural expectations...I dunno. I just was completely "there" with the film and hope that anyone who reads this will venture out to see it. I think this is why I love film.

So the Rita connection. Rita is a Sagittarius, dates women, and is a writer and a film writer. Rebecca is all of those things too. So I wonder, if it is a prallel, what part of me is being "pressed" upon by Rebecca that is healthy and what part of me when "pressed" is sore, and indicating an imbalance in my internal detoxifier?