Leaving On A Jet Plane

I live with a crazy person. It's really hard. I think about leaving, but it's really complicated, so really then, I'm a whiny volunteer.

I get frustrated and rageful internally at what I consider to be self centered neurotic tantrums. I thought I got rid of living with those when I left home.

This morning is a perfect example of a very common event in our house.

The drain in the bathroom was clogged yesterday. Well, I don't use the bathroom sink much, so I didn't notice it first, she did. She poured some concoction down it and we waited all day for it to work.

This morning, it is still clogged. This happens to be a busy morning. She is going to a museum and I am giving her a ride to be there by 945am, while I drive onward over the golden gate bridge to sunny Fairfax. I don't have any firm plans, I just want to be in the sun.

Well, she whirls into a frantic fit about the drain. She has her fits silently, but it is a loud silence. She rushes around and around to find the vinegar, salt and baking soda and plunger. I ask if there's anything I can do to help. "THERE'S NO *TIME* NOW!!!!!" she says as she looks at me as if I am stupid for asking. Now see, I realize this, however I know that I'll "get in trouble" if I don't at least ask if I can be of help. She already is silently thinking I clogged the drain, and is also resentful that I'm not clearing it.

The she says, "Are YOU going to come back (after dropping her off at her fun event) and plunge this out?" And I know that she really wants me too. She doesn't really care that I'm on my way out to have a nice day, and especially since I don't have any firm plans, there's no reason why I can't come back and clear the drain. She really doesn't care.

BUT, I also know that if I were to clear the drain, something might not happen right and I'd get blamed. SO I said, "nope, I don't know how you want it done and I won't do it without you directing me."

The crazy thing about all of this, if you haven't found anything crazy yet, is her stupid-ass lack of setting priorities. She has a limited time to get ready to get to the museum. There isn't anything we can do right now to fix the sink, so *I* would just wait until later, it's not like someone is dying. Or something is flooding.

So what she'll do is rush around and get all the stuff ready and freak out and be tense, and I myself get nervous and tense, and then she'll be rushed for her event and then she'll complain, and somehow manage to imply/infer that it could be fixed if I wasn't going out on my planless day.

What I'm tired of? I'm tired of her blindness and self centeredness during her lack of logic rage bordering fits. I feel frustrated and sad and helpless and angry. I think I have to treat her with kid gloves. My time and energy are spent appeasing her fits and unstable emotions.

I am dumbfounded that people don't see how selfish they are when they are so moody. It isn't plesant to be the partner of such a moody person. She really doesn't want to hear about it, she don't really want to fix it. She is addicted to her emotional flare ups. I've heard the arguement that such a person doesn't really want that, but the self-righteous poor me story that falls upon the partner's ears aren't fantasy.

One day, I'll leave, I'm just not sure how.