Rage and Piss and Vinegar

I musta got out of bed wrong this morning. I could quit today I'm so fed up. But then I'd be fucked. I feel fucked now, but at least I have a paycheck. That doesn't really seem like a good enough reason to stay, but it is the only thing I have to cling to. Not much going right this morning, except my coffee. I was curt with my boss, she kept asking me about a client that she has been asking about, and keeps forgetting everything I tell her. Every fucking day.

All I want is out. Out of practically everything.

There are five aspects of my life where I am feeling inspired and happy: Stella, Penny, Zuzu, Siriosa, school. Thinking of any of these five lovely entities in my life makes me beam with sheer love and joy.

But at this very moment I am in an internal rage right now, and I just want someone to be nice to me. I just want to relax.

Hopefully the acute feelings will pass soon. I know I have to change some things in my life. Probably a new job. Possibly a new place to live...but I don't know that I'll be able to stay in SF...this is where the compromising takes places. I know that I don't have to make any decisions right now, and probably won't until summer when school is out for a few months.