Shooting Star

O.K. here's a sign, ANOTHER one. I arrive home from class just a few minutes ago. As I walk from ym car to the house, I look up at the night sky and drink in the stars and the low hanging moon. I look up and up and up and ask the universe to let me know that I'll get my house in fairfax, give me a sign. Then, out of NOWHERE came a shooting star. Just for me, becasue I asked for it. Those Chinese folks say beware for what you ask, you will probably get it. Yeah, it would cause some trouble, some upset, but...I think it would be ok. This is the third shooting/falling star that I've seen within a month. Nothing to sneeze at.

I feel sad for CW. Are we pulling apart? Are we more distant? Am I? Stella the cat sleeps on me so often that I don't turn in Cw's direction, it's like an ocean between us sometimes. I want her to be happy, I do. She's so easily turns sad. There is something sad about her though, something that so much of my energy goes to cheer up.

I am watching so that I don't miss something. I don't want to be accused for taking someone or a situation for granted. My eyes are peeled right now. I watch her and us with a tenderness. And a wondering. in many ways I think that we are still getting to know each other. It takes me awhile to stretch out and be myself. This may be unfair to others, because when I do finally come out, I may not be so nice about things that I let slide for so long.

All I know is that I love her, and that someone I love is sad. That I love someone who is sad, and there may not be enough spiritual and emotional nutriment here. I don't want to throw away something which is a gift. Somethings are so hard to tell.

Anyway...anyway. I'll get my wish.